I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize