they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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