nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
