That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
