So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
