Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I came so hard my ears popped.
My life is pants optional.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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