i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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