Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize