Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There are leaves in my underwear?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
