community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize