HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
