am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
