I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
