20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
