and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I want to be your penis for a week.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...