my soul wont recognize me after tonight
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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