Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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