I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
