He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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