I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
