Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
