Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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