I heard we made out
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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