Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I believe in your delicious
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
