I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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