A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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