LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
