Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
