Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
