____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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