I want to stick my p in your. b.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
