i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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