So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
