My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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