I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
