I need help removing her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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