therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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