i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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