Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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