I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
