Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
