Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
