Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
then he tried to convert me to islam
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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