girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize