So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
