just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
