maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
