she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
