Your face is a jimmy john
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
