He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
