Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I believe in your delicious
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
