I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
