i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
