Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
