love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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