it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
