well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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