If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
