He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize