I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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