Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
