So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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