Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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