There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He passed out mid-signature
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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